Yaseppochi Shinobi: Scarecrow Legacy
by The Other Side of Darkness
Summary: Naruto is not the son of Minato Namikaze, he does not have a giant demon sealed in his belly, and he doesn't even have chakra. What he does have is a lineage dating back eight thousand years, a companion named Skritch, and two of the coolest mothers ever!
1. Chapter 1

Okay! Here's a new story for all you readers out there! If you're waiting on an update on one of my many others, it should be out( depending on the story) sometime by the end of the month.

Now this one is a crossover with a WebComic called Scare Crow Lullaby( Scare Crow Lullaby is owned and operated by Satoshi.). If you don't know it get your eyes settled on Drunk Duck .com and check it out. **I **_**command**_** you to!!**

Seeing as I've already disclaimed SCL let's just go ahead and say that Naruto is owned and operated by Kishimoto.

Chapter One: Who is Naruto?

A long time ago, before shinobi became the ruling millitary force, before the Six Ways Sage, before even the discovery chakra, in what was Europe, there existed an all girls School of the Arts. Two particular students attended this school.

The first, Sereana, had been alive for longer than the school had been standing. She was... carnivorous. Until just a few short years before she joined the school she dined on the flesh of humans regularly. By the time she reached it however she vowed to be a vegan. She stood nearly seven feet tall, was rail thin, and, to those who actually thought it mattered, was lacking an impressive bust. She wore a green shirt that wast just off her shoulders, and black pants. The shirt had almost no right sleeve and the left sleeve was only two feet from dragging on the ground; an effort to hide her scarred and patched left arm. She had long black hair and matching eyes.

Aside from eating humans, Sereana was also Immortal, could detect auras through scent ( a side of her Carnivorous nature), and could create minions out of stuffing, her own blood, cloth, and intention.

The second was human through and through. Her name was Tevy. She was a modest five foot two, had short blonde hair, blue eyes, and could be described by most as cute as a button. She had been accepted at the art school for her cullinary skills.

When Tevy and Sereana first met it was not love at first sight, as some might guess. It was Tevy's scent that had Sereana taking a special interest in her.

After an incident with one of Sereana's creationss where the tall immortal ended up saving the blonde, Tevy baked cookies for her as a thank you. That was all it took for Sereana, she was in love. The cookies were just that good.

Over the years that the two knew eacother they grew closer together till finally Sereana asked Tevy to be her mate. Tevy gave it all of a milliseconds hesitation before accepting, having grown rather fond of the tall girl, and Sereana performed a ritual that would bind her life to the blonde's so that she would not have to see her lover die and idle in eternity afterwards without her.

When the fourth world wide war stuck, a short thirty years after that, Sereana insisted that the two of them go into hiding until the war had passed. She feared that her nature would compel her to join the war simply to feed on the soldiers foolish enough to cross her. She did not want Tevy to see that side of her.

For forty years the war raged on above the sleeping pair, until a nation, no one knows who but suspicion falls heavily on what the people of those times knew as Canada, launched nuclear weaponry. That created an in for all other nations to do the same.

Mankind dwindled to a few hundred thousand souls, hardly a fraction of their once great six billion. All others were killed in the blasts or mutated horribly due to radiation.

For eight thousand years Tevy and Sereana slept under a spell of Sereana's craftmanship. Above them the people remaining discovered their chakra source, demons noticed the lack of protection on the human world and invaded, though they did not actively seek out confrontations with humans most of the time, and the physical arts once again found their place in the world.

By the time the couple awoke the world was already deeply submerged in the reign of ninja.

Another two hundred years and the greater villages began to form. It was around this time that the two began thinking of offspring. For a mere human it would be impossible for two creatures of the same gender to create young. For the greater demons it was simply a matter of energy and will.

The hard part was that a greater demon could not create young with a human. And while Tevy was now technically immortal through the tying of her life to Sereana's, she was still human.

One hundred years later a solution was found. A delicate process, involving the summoning of the Eight Demons of Hell's Order, solved Tevy's humanity, and the two got to work right away on creating a child.

For an inferior creature this would include rutting like dogs in heat. For greater demons it was as mentioned earlier, a matter of energy and will. It took eight years, but finally Tevy became pregnant through the mixing of their demonic energies.

Sereana took after many human fathers to be, becoming overprotective and paranoid. Her paranoia turned out to be founded when, three days after his birth, ninja baring Leaf headbands came for their blonde haired son.

As it turned out a man by the name of Danzo had ordered the theft of the baby demon. He had heard of the abilities that Sereana, and now Tevy, possessed. He could easily see the advantage of being able to literally build your forces out of nothing. He also underestimated the skill of Sereana.

He had sent two full teams of his Root ANBU, one to collect the infant, the other to distract and dispose of the parents. He failed see how just maybe appearances weren't all that important in makai, and that just maybe the apearance of Tevy and Sereana being teenage girls was because their energy was focused on building their strength, not their image.

So said, Sereana ripped apart the attacking ninja as easily as you would tear a piece of paper. It wasn't until they heard the distant wails of their son that they realized the purpose of the attack.

Have you ever heard of the agressiong of a mother bear? Well add another mother bear to the equation and multiply the force available to them to use by a thousand for each.

The two mothers constructed a monstrocity worthy of Hell's Order. It was enormous, had the signature patchwork of all of Sereana's creations, and, with a core made of Tevy's demonically enhanced curry, was connected to the elements. It had the ability to track the abductors and the power to crush anything or anyone to get in there way.

A days journey on the back of their nine tailed monstrocity took them to the village of the Leaf where they laid siege for three days and three nights without rest. A team of ANBU noticed the pair riding the giant Scare Crow Kitsune and made to attack them. The ninja's who witnessed the failure and ultimate destruction of that team learned that it was far more merciful to be crushed under the claws of the kitsune than it was to confront the angry mothers.

It wasn't until the fourth day that Namikaze Minato discovered the reason for the attack in the Root barracks. He confronted Danzo about it and could only find himself more and more enraged. He now sympathised with their destroyers.

But even so he could not let them destroy his village.

With the infant in his arms, Minato summoned the boss toad and went into the fray.

"Sereana!" Tevy cried from the back of the fox creature and pointed at Minato, Gamabunta, and their son.

Sereana looked where her love had pointed and growled deeply in her throat. She stomped on the creations head and pointed to the toad. It took the cue and began to attack.

"Wait!" Yelled Minato, "Here is your child!" He held the boy above his head for display, "Stop this attack and return to Makai and no harm shall befall him!" He brought the blonde boy back to his chest and pulled a kunai from his pouch to hold to the baby's throat, "Continue and he dies!"

Tevy, the more emotional of the two since even before they met, was hopelessly trying to reach out to her son, to reassure him and quiet his cries of fear. She begged Sereana to get him from his captor at all costs.

Sereana growled menacingly in the back of her throat glared at the current Hokage. She took a few steps forward and tugged on a thread on their creations head. Almost imediately the monster began to fall apart. Once they were on the ground Minato dismissed the toad and approached them.

He held out the babe for them to take. Tevy jumped at the chance to take her child back and cuddle the baby to herself, crying gently in relief.

Sereana stayed where she was, glaring at the blonde man. She did not want to do this, to hand their son back to this man and his village, to take him away from Tevy after just getting him back, but she knew...

"Makai is no place for a child," she growled out to Minato, "Not even for a demon child."

Minato stared right back and slowly nodded, "I'll make a place for him here. I swear to you he will be kept safe. What is his name?"

"Naruto," Tevy answered still smiling down at her precious baby boy through the tears. She understood what Sereana was doing, but didn't have to like it.

"And one more thing," Sereana walked closer to Minato and said, "We still need our just desserts. Are you willing to forfeit your life for the sake of your village?"

Minato glared at her, but nodded again. He supposed had it been his child he would demand reparations as well.

"Very well," he sighed, "I will need a day to make the preparations."

Sereana nodded again in allowance and turned away from him, "We'll meet you back here tomorrow. Come on, Tevy, we have a day for our son."

Minato flashed away.

The next day they met Minato in the same spot as the day before. He had with him the reinstated Third Hokage and a team of ANBU.

Tevy gave Naruto to Sereana who in turn stepped forward to give him to the Third. He was wrapped in an overly large orange shirt, the same style as his taller mother's.

"Take good care of him," she commanded. The Third nodded. She then turned to Minato, "You're brave for a human, I'll give you that. Come, Tevy will have the gate open soon."

As she spoke the shorter, blonde girl was indeed opening the gate to Makai. It appeared as a giant swirling vortex before them. Minato looked back only once and waved goodbye. The three of them stepped through the vortex and it closed seconds afterwards.

Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Third Hokage, looked from where Minato and their would be destroyers had just disappeared to the baby demon with the whisker birthmarks on his face.

"Well, shit."

A/N: That is the end of Chapter 1. I like it. I don't really care if you don't but it would be nice to hear your opinion of it all.

Oh and for the biggest piece of news that is of dire import: _**I GOT MY MUSE BACK!!!**_ All thanks to Scare Crow Lullaby!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Talking to Scarecrows

When Naruto was born Sereana was already half way through creating an advanced Scarecrow to act as his guardian. After his kidnapping, during the day she and Tevy gave the Fourth to tend to his final affairs, she put eighteen straight hours into it's completion. The final six hours were spent with her son. She held him as he slept, soothed him as he cried, played with him for the few short hours he was awake, and watched lovingly as Tevy fed him. She let loose a single tear when she remembered that she would not be there for her son for the next hundred years.

Thirty minutes before the alotted meeting time and departure she hid the Scarecrow, name of Skritch, in Naruto's basket. Skritch would begin to fulfill his job as their son's guardian by first acting as padding and a source of heat.

To Skritch this was just fine, he did not want to fight yet. If it came to it he would defend Naruto with his every fiber( literally in his case), but he sincerely hoped it wouldn't be necessary. He'd much rather spend his time teaching Naruto, something his master had added to his directives since neither of his mothers would be there to do the same for him.

However he was disappointed when one of the ANBU escorting the Third made an attempt to stab Naruto. Skritch reached out, lightning fast, and stopped the blade inches from Naruto. His other hand moved up from the other side of his ward's basket and wagged a single clawed digit back and forth as if to say, "Ah, ah, ah... Bad dog," and he tightened his hold to the point that bones were rendered powder.

After Skritch had retracted both his arms and as the lion masked ANBU lay on the ground screaming in pain over his useless appendage the Third turned to the three uninjured ANBU and said, "Anyone else stupid enough to think that demons of their calibur would leave their brood without protection?" The three shook their heads. "Good, I will need all the help that I can aquire while our village is weak and I do not need any more useless deaths." Hiruzen proceeded to throw a Kunai into the head of the fallen shinobi, "From this point onward it will be considered an S-rank act of treason to attempt to kill this... child." Three 'Yes sir's highlighted this order.

Two hours later Sarutobi stood before a shouting Shinbi Council. Naruto sat in the middle of the room in his basket, giggling at something imperceptible, to the others it appeared as if he was laughing at their frustration and anger.

"I say we kill it!" The Uchiha elder roared above the other elders and received a chorus of agreement.

"I wish we could," the Third said, "But Minato arranged for its safety as part of the deal to stop the attack. If we do not provide protection for the creature till it reaches an age where it can take care of itself the demons will come back and see out their revenge."

"I will not have any of my clan protecting a demon," the Hyuuga elder said in their specially bred monotone.

"From what I can see of what the demons left their child you will not have to. Danzo, as the instigator of this entire mess, why don't you give us a demonstration," he glared at the leader of Root.

Danzo glared right back and snapped his fingers. One of his special ANBU appeared and threw a kunai at Naruto. Skritch caught it and threw back, killing the Root member.

"As such it will not need a guard detail, or anyone to care for it if I have guessed correctly, it just needs the essentials. A home, food, water, and clothing," Sarutobi picked up the basket Naruto was in, "We'll give him an apartment and a monthly allowance for food and clothing. I have already set a law making it treason to attempt his murder."

The council grumbled, but could see his point. As they stood up to leave, seeing no more point in arguing, the Third decided to get in one final word, "We should not see this as a curse, but a blessing. If we can create a loyalty to our village with the demon we will be the only nation with an actual demon, not just a jinchuuriki."

+--- Line Break by IFLI Ind.---+

Hiruzen was right, Skritch was far more than just a guardian or teacher. He was to be everything Naruto needed. His friend, his nanny, his doctor, everything.

For the first couple of months it was quite the novelty to see a three foot tall, patchworked, demonic doll buying baby supplies. The vendors in particular loved it for the attention it would bring to their stores. After the locals stopped paying attention the vendors set out signs telling tourists about the amazing living doll that visited their stores once a just ignored everyone and went about the chores he needed to do away from the appartment.

The first eight months were kind of boring for the Scarecrow. He would play different music for Naruto everyday, talk to him( to an outsider it would look like Skritch was just holding him) like an adult, played with him, and killed the few assassins that dared to try it.

Then Naruto said his first word.

It was early for a baby to talk that soon, but it was a welcome surprise. Skritch began to try and teach him more words by level of difficulty. By the time Naruto was eighteen months he had gone from 'mama' to full conversation. Of course not quite the full intellectual conversation you could expect of an adult, but he could tell you about things he liked and disliked almost as well as a three year old.

It was also at the eighteenth months that Skritch noticed the irony. Sereana was an incredibly tall and skinny girl. Naruto was a slightly rotund runt. Irony.

By the time he was two Naruto had running down to an art and darted around the appartment like the hyperactive child that he was. What small amount of pudge he had on him disappeared with how active he was. Teaching him was a little harder than Skritch had hoped, but he was sure to be doing more than those humans would if Naruto had been left in their care.

Skritch's proudest moment was when Naruto was almost three.

Naruto came running around the corner, something cupped delicately in his hands, "Sk'itch! Sk'itch! Look't what I made!"

Skritch looked up from preparing lunch and turned to his ward.

Naruto held up his hands and opened them to show what appeared at first to be a two inch doll, badly patched together, but for under three it was marvolous. Then the doll started to move on it's own. It stood up on wobbly legs and waved it's stubby arms around for a bit to keep it's balance. Once it realized it could keep itself standing without using its arms as a counter balance it began to take tentative steps in its creator's palms.

Skritch was ectstatic. He began planning for Naruto's next birthday, just a few short months away on October sixth. The boy would have all the supplies and methods for creating more of the creatures that anyone could ask for.

Naruto's face looked a little sad though as he said, "I named him Stitch, but I don't think he's'a last long, Sk'itch."

Skritch studied his wards first creation and gave a short nod. It would take years before the demon boy could create minions that would last for more than a day, centuries before he could imbue them with enough energy to have their own personality. He explained this to Naruto.

"So'f I wait till I'm older I can do't better?"

"..."

"Then I'll just keep practi-prac-practici... makin' more till I can do't like mama!" and Naruto ran off to do as he promised. If Skritch was capable of chuckling at his wards entheusiasm he would have.

Naruto did just as he said and built more scarecrows. The first few dozen were much like the Stitch; ill fated to be simply mounds of cloth after only a few minutes. About six months after his third birthday, after Skritch gave him the new supplies( finest cloth he could find in a variety of colors, stainless steel needles, thread of the highest quality, and cotton stuffing), he put together a scarecrow that lasted for an hour. An entire hour!

To reward him he took Naruto out for his first ever cooked meal that didn't involve a microwave. Unfortunately, with his status as a creature made of thread, cloth, and stuffing, Skritch was highly suceptible to fire. That said the best he could do was throw something in the microwave.

Naruto ate at Ichiraku Ramen, telling Skritch that it just smelled so delicious. At first Skritch was confused. To a demon of Naruto's blood, the food humans ate was just an easy source of energy, nothing more. There were few exceptions, such as when Tevy cooked for Sereana. But that was a bit different, Tevy enjoyed cooking so much that she put her very life force into it, making it a mouth watering delicacy to Sereana. Could this Ichiraku Teuchi really enjoy cooking ramen of all things enough to put his very soul into it.

After Naruto finished off his sixth bowl Skritch decided it was very likely.

Skritch decided, from that point on, it would be a good thing for Naruto to eat there at least once a week if not more. He would have him eating there every day if the meager budget they were given could afford it. Another plus was that both the owner and his daughter knew who, and more importantly what, Naruto was and bared him no grudge. When Skritch had asked, using a note, they told him that money was money, they paid for their meals just like everyone else and that's all that really mattered. Plus Naruto did eat no less than six large bowls every visit.

There was a downside, however. The walk through the town to Ichiraku's Ramen exposed Naruto to the public and its hate. It only took the young boy a few minutes to ask why the villagers stared at him with such ferocity.

Skritch was not programmed with censorship.

"I'm a demon?!"

Skritch nodded, and went on to explain exactly why his mothers were away, and what they were.

"Wow..." Naruto said lowly, thinking over all the info Skritch had just provided and smiled, "Both my mama's must be super awesome!"

For the next couple of years things continued like that. The people would project their hatred onto the blonde, said boy would do his best to ignore their negativity and build his scarecrows, Skritch would teach him at an accelerated rate, and the Ichiraku's would continue to welcome them with open arms.

Then, at age six, two things happened. One, Naruto discovered the joys of reading. Two, Hiruzen Sarutobi visited with a motive.

Both Skritch and Naruto, who appeared small for his age despite how well he ate, sat before the aged Hokage, listening to his proposal. He wanted Naruto to join the Ninja Academy. He stated several reasons all boiling down to the fact that Naruto would greatly increase their military power.

At first neither of them were really interested in the idea. What would be the purpose of serving the very village that damned his mothers to a century in hell? It would almost seem a shameless plot device with more holes than a siv used by an author only just starting his career.

In the long run, however, Naruto decided that he had an entire century to wait for his mothers' return, so what better alternative did he have? He figured, also, that it would be nice to have a way to protect himself other than Scarecrows.

The Hokage was rather pleased. Over the half dozen or so years the demon had been in his village he realized that, while his mothers were to feared for their wrath, Naruto was basically just a normal child. There wasn't anything particularly demonic that anyone could point out about the boy.

And it was now a reassurance that Naruto's creations, and Naruto himself, would be fighting on their side.

The first day of classes, Naruto was as ecstatic as any child, no matter how exceptional, could be.

He came home with a thoughtful frown.

"..."

"Oh, hey, nothing it's just... Do you think the adults would tell kids not to like me because of what my mamas did?" Naruto asked as he set his bag full of supplies on the coffee table infront of the couch.

"..."

"I know it's silly! But I think they are! Everyone I talked too t'day said that their parents told them I was bad. I haven't done anything though," Naruto sat down on the couch and let a kind of sad sigh and said, "Are all humans so... stupid, Skritch?"

"..." Skritch, who was cleaning blood off his claws from another botched assassination, turned towards Naruto.

"I know that, but she's not a human anymore, right? So what's that count for."

"..."

"Yeah, I guess I get it, but... but if the majority of all the human world are idiots how am I to find the smart ones?" Naruto crossed his arms infront of him and stared at his back pack in deep thought then said, "I just hope my future mate isn't a human. No offense to Tevy-mama, but I think I'd rather find a demon mate."

"..."

In the third month of the Academy they began teaching the children how to find their chakra source. That was when they found the downside to Naruto's demonic heritage. He was incapable of channeling chakra.

This of course brought on teasing remarks.

"Look at that!" Inuzuka Kiba said loudly, amusment in his tone, "The midget can't even channel chakra! Why don't you come back when you're out of diapers, dead last!" Kiba and the rest of the class began laughing.

Now Naruto, who was beginning to become rather sensitive about the subject of his height, began to twitch in anger at the taunting before suddenly pointing at Kiba with an enraged look on his face.

For a moment everyone stopped, then bust up laughing again.

Until three dark shapes came in through the class room window and began pounding on Kiba. The teachers moved quickly to get them away from the Inuzuka boy.

The class began laughing again, this time at Kiba, when it was revealed he was getting beaten black and blue by dolls.

That day at lunch Naruto was approached by two kids. One had black hair tied back, kind of looking like the stem of a pineapple, the other had red hair and was chubby for a kid their age.

"What?" Naruto asked gruffly.

The first boy, Nara Shikamaru, ignored the tone and sat down followed by his friend, Akimichi Chouji, and asked, "What were those things?"

"... My minions.." he glared at the taller boy, asking him to give him a reason to sic Ritch, Titch, and Litch on him, "... what of it?"

Shikamaru just shrugged, "They were cool, mean you could just sit back and have them do stuff for you. Stuff that's troublesome. I'm jealous." And the Nara boy began to eat his lunch. Akimichi, trusting Nara's judgement began to eat too, ignoring Naruto's glare.

From that point on Chouji and Shikamaru would eat with Naruto. They weren't quite friends, but none of them picked on eachother or laughed when others did the same.

Over the next four years things continued along this vein. His lack of chakra was overlooked because of his ability to make his minions. Anytime they had a jutsu class he'd be excused to go do something else till they were done, automatically getting a pass, though it was the lowest possible passing score.

Over those four years Naruto had grown six inches, making him three foot six by the summer break just before his tenth birthday.

At the end of break, on the first day of class, Naruto was nowhere to be found.

Kiba just smirked and said, "Ha, looks like that midget finally got the point that he sucks and decided to quit." Some of the others laughed with him.

The next day, just as Iruka, a new teacher starting that year, was taking roll, a knock came to the door. Iruka walked over, opened it, and smiled in greeting at the person on the other side.

"Ah, Naruto-san, I'm glad to see you haven't quit. Please come in and take a seat," Iruka stepped back to allow the blonde in.

Everyone stared at where they thought the orange wearing blonde's head would be, about at Iruka's waist.

One leg came in the door. The students found a thigh where they thought his head would be.

A hand, covered in a long orange sleeve that hung just above the thigh, clutched the frame and about level with Iruka's head.

Finally the body appeared in full view and gasps filled the class room.

Where once was a midget of three foot six now stood a giant of six foot four. He still wore the same style of clothing: Orange jacket with overly long sleeves that hung down far past his hands, a pair of green shorts that hung to mid calf and would be pants on most of the children there, and a pair of black running shoes.

He looked rail thin, as if he'd gained the height, but not a pound more than he'd weighed last summer. Unlike others who went through such drastic spurts of growth he didn't appear to have any difficulty moving his body, he even came off as graceful.

He stood in front of the class, grinning from ear to ear showing off his slightly enlongated canine teeth and said, "What's up... Midgets?"

+--- End Chapter Two---+


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: Interesting Title here

Naruto stared apathetically at the rest of the graduating class.

"...Consists of Applewhite Naruto, Haruno Sakura, and Uchiha Sasuke," Naruto caught who were on his team and resisted the urge to groan.

One would not be surprised to find out that Naruto was at the bottom of the class. Shortly after he showed up nearly twice as tall as he was the summer before his growth spurt, Naruto discovered that no matter how badly he did in class he would pass. Privilege of having the Hokage backing him. From then on he hardly showed up at class, and then only to the taijutsu lessons which, for all intents and purposes, he was still failing miserably.

Still, was that really reason enough for the old man to stick him on a team he would have a hard time tolerating?

Haruno Sakura disgusted him. She was the epitome of wasted space, in his opinion. It did not help that the scent she emitted was beyond revolting to his demonic sense of smell. Skritch explained that it had something to do with the way her soul interacted with his demon aura. Should he try to eat her he would probably fall ill.

Uchiha Sasuke was another matter. He did not smell particularly good or bad, but his attitude was a real bother. He seemed to believe that he was above everyone he met for some reason that Naruto could not fathom. He also had a bad habbit of insulting the resident demon. Naruto promised himself that should the opportunity ever arrise he would devour Sasuke just so he didn't have to deal with the arrogant prick.

"...Now your Sensei's should be here after a short lunch break so please meet back here in one hour. And once again, good luck," With that Iruka left.

Naruto stood, towering over all in his class as usual, and turned to his two teammates, "Seeing as we are now a team, how about going to lunch together. There is a delightful little ramen stand a couple of blocks from here."

Sakura, having had no real interaction with the overly tall and skinny blonde, did _not_ imediately assume he was asking her on a date. First, surprisingly enough, she thought that he was inviting both her and Sasuke out to lunch to learn more about eachother that they may work better as a team.

_Then _she assumed he was asking her speciffically to go out with him.

"No way, you freak! Who would want to date you!?" She launched a punch at him.

Instead of just letting her hit him or retaliating in any way, Naruto simply stepped back, letting the pinkette overextend her balance and fall flat on her face. Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, midget," The blonde left the emberassed girl and unresponsive Uchiha to go have lunch at Ichiraku's.

Some few hours later the three genin sat on the roof with their sensei, a man who was just a couple inches shorter than the demon.

"How about we introduce ourselves, hmm," the man said in a lazy drawl, "Just tell me your name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and dreams for the future."

Naruto tuned the man out at that point, instead deciding to do something productive. He pulled some cloth, a needle, and some thread from his sleeves and began to work. He worked quickly and, by the time his two teammates had finished their introductions, a six inch tall scarecrow stood in Naruto's palm.

"My name," Naruto said as he looked up from his latest creation, "is Naruto. I like books, Skritch, and the stories Skritch tells about my mothers. I dislike a moderate number of things, but if I had to state one thing it would have to be fire. My hobby is creating scarecrows like Latch here," He gestured to the pointy nosed little, patchwork scarecrow. It bowed to the other members of team seven, "Though I generally tend to make them bigger to better suit the general purposes of ninja life. My dream for the future is to eventually meet both my mothers and do them proud."

"What the hell are you talking about? You can't have two mothers! It's not humanly possible, idiot!"

"I'm a demon, you stupid little girl," Naruto stated bluntly.

"Yeah, well... it's still impossible for two girls to have a baby!"

"Of course you would think that. Humans could never understand a form of reproduction that doesn't involve the needless transfer of bodily fluids. My mothers did not use such vile methods to create me and neither will I when I decide I want a child."

"Right..." Kakashi spoke, stopping the two of them from continuing the argument. He personally had no intention of learning how demons reproduced and Sakura definitely looked like she was going to ask. "Well, I want the three of you to be at training ground seventeen tomorrow morning at six. Don't be late and don't eat breakfast. Unless you like throwing up that is." With that Kakashi left via shunshin.

Naruto looked at his teammates and decided to try one more time, "My offer still stands to the both of you. If you'd like to eat at Ichiraku's with me I'll pay."

Sasuke turned his nose up at the offer, literally. Sakura did likewise though she could not pull off the same air of arrogance that Sasuke had been perfecting in the mirror ever since he was four.

After the two of them left the rooftop Naruto stood silently for a bit before looking down at Latch, still standing in his palm, "Latch, I have a very important mission for you..."

+--- Line break by IFLI Industries---+

The next morning Naruto showed up right on time. Sasuke and Sakura showed up before he did, but something was a little... off.

If you could put your finger on it it would probably have to be the very noticeable and easily identifiable banner for Ichiraku Ramen stamped across both his teammates' faces. Both did not appear pleased with this development.

Naruto, who had of course orchestrated this little prank, held in his amusement very well.

"My word!" He put a cloth covered hand over his mouth, "What happened?"

Sakura glared at him with her coldest glare, unconsciously channeling a meager amount of Killing Intent. Sasuke, feeling himself above reproach, no matter what was stamped across his face, did not bother to respond in any visible manner.

Seeing that no answer was forthcoming, and internally promising to give Latch a snack bigger than he was, Naruto sat down in a cross legged position, opened his back pack, and pulled out enough supplies to creat three scarecrows of Skritch's size.

By the time Kakashi showed up, Naruto had finished the second scarecrow. Sakura screamed about how the grey haired jounin was late, Sasuke gave the man the briefest of glares, and Naruto continued building the third Scarecrow.

After a brief explanation about what exactly the test was and why they were having it, which Naruto completely ignored, Kakashi shouted go and watched as two of his three gennin jumped into the trees and hid themselves with a fair amount of skill for beginners.

Naruto however remained exactly where he was doing exactly what he was since before Kakashi came.

Kakashi watched for a few minutes, thinking that perhaps Naruto was setting up the three Scarecrows to use in an attack formation before noticing that the other two scarecrows, named Fitch and Glitch, were...playing tag?

"Err, Naruto, I don't think you fully grasp the concept of this excersize..."

"Hatake-san, let's not beat around the bush. Due to special abilities I possess the Hokage has ordered you to pass this team whether we fail the exam or not. Due to political problems from the council the Hokage has been forced to order you to pass the Uchiha. This test is a farce," Naruto did not even once look up from the third scarecrow that was beginning to look like a fox.

"But..."

"Yah, yah, yah! I know. You still have to test us to keep up appearances. Look, Vulitch here will be done in half an hour, till then go... go stroke the Uchiha's ego or something," Naruto began putting stuffing in the half of Vulitch that he had finished.

Kakashi watched the tall blonde for a couple more moments before giving a sigh and deciding to do as he said. He used a shunshin to appear near Sakura and began to test her genjutsu detection abilities.

Thirty minutes later, after a game of cat and mouse between Sasuke and Kakashi that ended up with the last Uchiha neck deep in the earth Kakashi briefly wondered when Naruto would be done with that last Scarecrow.

At just that moment Kakashi was attacked from three sides. To his right was Fitch, a three foot tall patchwork demon with a long tail, two horns, three sharp claws on each hand, and a grinning maw. To his left was Glitch, similar in height and patcwork, but instead of a tail this one had a pair of wings and four horns. Glitch too was grinning. The third, Vulitch, was descending towards him. What he had originally thought was a fox turned out to be a wolf.

Quickly using a kawarimi Kakashi avoided the attack. Vulitch landed at the top of the log then leapt in the direction he sensed Kakashi. Fitch and Glitched continued flying towards eachother. Just as they were about to collide they each turned to the side grabbed each other's hand and spun in the air for a second before they stopped and landed. They quickly caught the still falling log and held it like a battering ram as they ran after Vulitch to help him attack the grey haired jounin.

Sasuke watched all of this from his spot in the ground with a raised eyebrow.

"What the..." Surprisingly, considering popular opinion of the last Uchiha, he did not feel any significant amount of jealousy over the dolls that attacked his prospective sensei. He could just not find it in himself to _want_ to make magical, patchwork dolls that could kick ass.

Back with Kakashi he was finding that Vulitch was a surprisingly skilled combatant, at least as efficient as an average Inuzuka dog before their beast clone technique. The twins, Fitch and Glitch, seemed to be treating this more like a game than anything else. He could even see them laughing silently after a few of their tricks allowed Vulitch to get a hit in.

At this moment the twins were using eachother as clubs to stike at him as the wolf scarecrow came charging at him before jumping into the air and going into a buzz saw spin that looked like a painful hit to ednure. Luckily, not a split second before Vulitch struck, the bell rang, signaling the end of the test.

Vulitch veered to the side and struck a tree, cutting it down, and the twins went back to their game of tag.

Naruto stepped out of the tree line carrying Sakura piggy back, still unconscious. Sasuke managed to dig himself out of the ground during the fight and also made it to the clearing in time for the bell to be heard.

At first Kakashi attempted to tie Naruto to the log. The look he was given for even suggesting it made him turn to Sakura almost immediately. Perhaps he was a jounin and, in the run of things, Naruto was still a baby demon, but he'd be damned if he gained the hostilities of said demon for something as simple and easily as avoided as tying him up.

+--- IFLI ---+

After an excersize in futility, trying to pound the idea of teamwork into his students( Naruto remained unimpressed with anything Kakashi had to say. Sasuke disregarded the idea of teamwork subconsciously, replacing it with the idea of using others as stepping stones. Sakura was almost visibly filing 'Teamwork' under 'Only With Sasuke'.), Kakashi sighed and dismissed them. He reported to the Hokage that they had passed, a mere formality of course.

For the next three weeks he had them doing D-ranks twice a day and teamwork training for the rest of it.

By the time the team had caught Tora for the fifth time Sasuke was ready to burst. He did to a limited extent, demanding a better mission from the Third Hokage. Iruka began a speech, but was interrupted by the Hokage asking Kakashi if he thought the team was ready.

"Yeah, they could handle a C-rank, I believe," Kakashi had his eye half lidded as always and there was no real emotion in his voice as always. Sasuke showed his pleasure at this news with a turtle smirk that was in no way not funny. Sakura looked nervous at first, but remembered that Sasuke would be there to save her.

"And what about the rest of your team? Sakura, do you feel ready?"

"Y...Yes, Hokage-sama, I am ready," She said with more determination than she felt.

"And you, Mister Applewhite? Do you feel up to the task?"

"Nope."

Instantly, five pairs of eyes were on Naruto. Kakashi had raised one eyebrow, same for the Third, Iruka was staring intently at the tall skinny blonde, and both of Naruto's teammates were glaring at him.

"Would you care to explain why, Naruto?"

"Simple, Hatake hasn't taught us anything except for teamwork excersizes."

"Teamwork is very important though, Naruto," Kakasi began.

"To the exclusion of all else? I mean, yeah, I don't have chakra and I never will if I have any say in the matter, but you could be teaching me hand to hand combat."

"But your scarecrows-"

"Are not invincible. Should an enemy get through them I should have a secondary form of defence," He raised a hand to stop Kakashi's next statement, "And don't bother saying my teammates will be there to back me up. It's not that I don't trust them, but, just like my scarecrows, they are not the end all, beat all solution. At some point in our career I can guarantee you I will be without the aid of either Haruno or Uchiha and would feel better if I had some kind of hand to hand training."

"Ah, but your hand to hand scores in the academy were the lowest," Kakashi said like that made all the sense in the world.

"And?"

"And what?"

"And aren't you a jounin? Aren't you supposed to have a set of skills that at least make you competent? And surely in that set there is at least one form of hand to hand that I can be taught. Or was I wrong? Are you an incompetent ninja? Did you pay off the exam judges to get your rank?"

"Enough!" The Third said. He did not yell, but the room fell silent, "Harsh though he was, he has a point. Your team is not ready for this mission. For your next request for a C-rank, I recommend putting in some _real_ training for them, Kakashi."

Sasuke and Sakura glared harder at the blonde who, true to form, remained apathetic to their anger. Kakashi too, though to a far lesser extent, was irritated with Naruto. Naruto also ignored him.

Once they were out of the tower and had been dismissed by their sensei, Sasuke and Sakura cornered Naruto.

"What the hell do you think you were doing?" Sasuke demanded coldly. It was difficult to affect intimidation to someone with a good two feet on you, but Sasuke felt he was doing well, spicing it up with a little killing intent.

"What was necessary to-"

"Shut up!" Sasuke grabbed the blonde's collar and forcefully pulled him down to eye level, "If you ever do that again I'll kill you, idiot!"

Quite suddenly the cold feeling of Sasuke killing intent was overwhelmed completely by something far more malevolent. It was dark, evil... hungry. It desired flesh and Sasuke and Sakura realized, with much resignation, they were the closest flesh there.

"Now you listen here, Uchiha," Naruto was speaking in a low tone. He snapped his fingers and four scarecrows seemed to appear out of thin air and pinned his two team mates to the wall, "I don't give a damn what your ambition is or how you mean to achieve it, but if you ever threaten me again..." He leaned in close so that he could stare into the eyes of the arrogant gennin, "I'll devour you and save your eyes to sell on the black market."

Naruto abruptly stood up and turned away. He snapped his fingers and the scarecrows were gone as fast as they appeared.

"I hope we have an understanding," and with that, the overwhelming feeling of iminent, bloody doom was gone.

Sakura was shaking like a leaf and Sasuke was breathing deeply while staring at his hands. Sakura looked at the boy she had a crush on and heard him mutter something that by now they truly knew.

"He's not human..."


End file.
